Amy Winehouse and My Moment of Clarity

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” – Carl Gustav Jung

The untimely death of 27-year-old British soul singer Amy Winehouse served as my wakeup call.

When Winehouse passed away in her north London apartment on Saturday, she joined an exclusive but unenvied club of “27 Forever,” whose members include Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain. Of these deaths, Winehouse’s affected me most. I have her album “Back to Black” on my iPod. I admired her world-weary voice and her lyrical moxie. For her slight frame, she was someone you didn’t want to pick a fight with.

But her death wasn’t unexpected. Her family and outside observers noted it was a matter of time before the five-time Grammy winner met her fate. Some speculated that her breakup with her latest boyfriend Reg Traviss prompted her final spiral.

I’m not a therapist, but someone who has struggled with emotional issues. In my view, an addiction is like gasoline that needs only a match to start a conflagration. That match can be depression, low self-esteem, or abuse, among others.

On Monday I came to a point where I admitted that I need help with dealing with some of my issues. I will admit to one of them – spending. I believed that as long as I was earning a decent wage, I had the right to buy whatever I wanted. When I went through a breakup with an emotionally abusive boyfriend, I bought a 1.7 fl. oz White Linen eau de parfum spray and a diamond and emerald 14 karat gold ring. I justified the purchases by saying that I was in pain and needed these things to feel better. They merely made my finances worse.

I realize that I can’t keep living this self-destructive lifestyle. I’m part of a family, a workplace, a community, a group of friends, a church. They need me, and I need them. So, I’m getting help to get my act together.

My prayers go out to the Winehouse family, friends, and other fans. But I thank Amy Winehouse for giving me the slap upside da hed that I needed – even if she didn’t mean to.

Writing Diva

The Mission Is Clear: Starting a Business

I’m a business owner.

It’s almost surreal seeing the reality in print. I launched my editing business Mission: Clarity two months ago. Actually, I began laying the foundation for the business last year by purchasing the Web domain www.missionclarity.com, buying some business cards, and fishing for clients. The business became official when I filed for a home business permit in May with the city of Vacaville.

I decided to start an editing business after enduring a year and a half of furloughs. When California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger imposed furloughs on 237,000 state employees in February 2009, the action amounted to a 14 percent pay cut. With a new contract for the 95,000 workers under the SEIU Local 1000 union ratified in November 2010, I have 5 percent of my pay taken out toward my government pension and one unpaid day a month, amounting to an 8 percent decrease. Also, with some legislators and activists calling for “pension reform,” that is, a cut in my future retirement pay, I realized that I needed another income source. I have a friend in Texas named “E” who not only teaches at a public school but runs a cake-making catering business. Noting her example, I’ve concluded that it’s silly in this sluggish economy to depend on just a 40-hour-a-week job to keep one’s head above water. After all, I’m not one of the hundreds of California state workers earning six figures.

My sister, Black Woman Blogging, thought of the name Mission: Clarity and discovered through an online search that the URL wasn’t taken yet. She has been my biggest supporter of this effort.

The business moniker Mission: Clarity fits because my goal is to make prose, whether in reports, brochures, manuscripts, or periodicals, concise and clear to the lay reader. I have been doing this for 5 years for a California state agency and 12 years as a newspaper staff writer. I believe there is a need in Solano County for someone who can look at copy and make it cleaner and, if necessary, grammatically correct.

Mission: Clarity will be my lifelong project. Because I’m the only one invested in this business, I’m not worried about failure. I would rather try and fail than do nothing. Doing nothing would be my biggest regret, and it’s not an option.

So, friends, please check out Mission: Clarity on Facebook and Twitter, where I will dispense grammar and usage advice. When my website is complete, I will let you know. And thank you in advance for your support.

Writing Diva