My sister, Black Woman Blogging (http://www.blackwomanblogging.blogspot.com), slapped me upside the head yesterday and brought me to my senses about my single status. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
In my previous post I was doing the wailing and gnashing of teeth regarding my not being in a relationship, especially as I approach 50. (Or, as I call it, "fiddy.") I was especially envious of BWB and her marriage to BMNB (Black Man Not Blogging). The two are best friends who married each other.
But not all is as it seems, BWB said. There are occasional disagreements, division of household labor and cooking (She gets the cooking.), arranging schedules and finances so they can travel together, checking with each other on their whereabouts, and, in old age, changing a spouse's "poopy diaper." (Not something to look forward to.)
As a single woman, BWB pointed out, I can go where I please, buy what I please, and not worry about joint finances or schedules. I have been squandering my singleness on feeling sorry for myself. As Tim Gunn from "Project Runway" would say, I should "make it work."
So, as I write this, I have a new attitude toward singleness. I probably wouldn't have been able to attend National Association of Black Journalists conventions if I had been married. And I love traveling. But, most of all, I like the freedom of being single. I attend dances and other single events, go to movies, ride my bicycle, and shoot photos without worrying about what my husband would think.
This is not to disparage marriage. There are pluses and minuses in both marriage and singleness. But I'm learning to be happy where I am.
Thank you, BWB.
Writing Diva
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